[Story] <title goes here>

[Kurodashi]

Before reading:

 

 

I am not the best writer out there and I do not plan to become a writer by any means but I enjoy reading books/manga/shortstories.

In my free time I enjoy making up a lot of stories which never get written down because I don't really have anyone to share them with.

"How come you decided to write them down now?"

Welll I noticed the writing section and it seemed like I could begin here and share a story or two.

 

So again, I am not a great writer.

In the following Story I wrote what came to my mind.

What I am mainly looking for is some criticism to improve my writing.

Now keep in mind I started writing this story at 4 am in the morning and it is well past that now but I hope it doesn't read like total bs.

If you enjoyed it leave a like as it would mke me really happy, if you want to help make it better leave some comment on how to improve it.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 9, 2016 by Kurodashi

[Kurodashi]

Where am I? This doesn't look like any park in town. As a matter of fact this doesn't look like a park to begin with. Hell I can't even remember going outside.
The last thing I remember was how I got back home from school to do my homework.
I was in a hurry 'cause I didn't want to come to late for my new part time job, I guess I can look for a new one now...

Looking around this looks like a forest... but I have never seen these kinds of trees...
I try standing up to get a better look at my surroundings but even so I am only seeing trees.
"Let's see is I can find some kind of road or even a person who can help me get out of here", mumbling I walked past a few trees and a few more trees and another group of trees...
After what felt like hours I came to a stop, "GODDAMN, what am I doing here", in my anger I hit one of the nearby trees.
Ignoring the feeling of pain spreading through my fist I looked done on the ground.
Something fell of the tree.
Getting a better look at what it was that was falling down I noticed it was some kind of birdnest but it was bigger then I have ever seen one.
To my surprise the eggs which seem to have been inside the nest just a few moments ago are now laying on the ground, undamaged at that.
"The Floor of this forest IS pretty soft", I thought "can normal eggs survive falling down a tree though?"
But my thoughts were interrupted by a loud "Krrraaaahhh".
Turning around in front of me, there was a giant... bird???
I took a few steps back and bumped into a tree.
Infront of me was a giant bird but none I have ever seen in any book not to talk about having it seen in wild.
It probably was 1 meter tall maybe more with broad wings and a long, sharp beak aswell as dangerous looking claws at its feet.
"I have to get away from here", was my first thought "if that hits me I am done for" was my next thought still staring at its long, sharp beak.
"You won't accept an apology will you?", I said jokingly knowing it wouldn't help me in any way "Look! Your eggs are still as good as new!"
It was pointless, I should be running away by now, but can I escape something that's flying not to mention it's probably faster then I could ever hope to be.
Honestly it doesn't matter.
I tried to clear my head, I took a deep breath and started running.
As if the giant bird was waiting for this it started to fly after me, continually raising speed.
No, I can't look back if I keep running maybe it will let of me.
Suddenly a "crack" and the feeling of the ground giving into my weight.
No, that is not true, I seem to have stepped on some branches laying around which had given into my weight.
And with said *crack* i fell.
A stinging pain ran through my head aswell as my hands and knees.
Ignoring the pain the first thought that came to my mind was "I am done for".
With multiple angry "Krrraaaaahhh" the bird made its presence known.
"Is this it? What a sad end."
I wouldn't run away.My knees probably wouldn't allow it if I tried anyways.
Sitting on these branches I took what probably was my last deep breath waiting for the giant bird to make its move...  


 

[Kurodashi]

Spoiler

 

I decided to continue the story whenever I feel like it I hope I can entertain some of you with it.

Tips to get better at writing are always appriciated.

Since I am writing what comes to my mind it may seem like it threw it together randomly and I apologize.

 

 

 

Suddenly the giant bird started increasing in speed while still flying towards me his sharp beak pointed in my direction.
He was just a few meters away from me now.
I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth preparing for what was to come but... nothing.
Slowly opening my eyes I looked around.
I could still hear the flapping of the birds wings and... it was still there right infront of me, but it seems to have spotted something that picked its interest.
"What do I do now?", ran through my head but before I could think about anything as if reading my mind
a commanding voice said, "Don't move!"
As if it was the natural thing to do I did as I was told.
Still sitting on the branches which caused me to fall to the ground I now looked in the deriction the voice came from.
I heard steps comming from from the nearby trees to my left and from inbetween the trees a bear appeared or was it actually a man?
No, it definetly was a man but he was unbelivebly huge with what seemed like a bear pelt over his head and down his shoulders but looking closer he seemed to wear some kind of uniform under the pelt.
The arms of his shirt seem to have been ripped of exposing his intimidating muscular arms.
But before I could do anything a loud, "Kraaahhhh" interupted my thoughts.
That's right, the sudden appearance of this bearlike man made me forget what happened just a moment ago.
"Kraahhh Kraahhh" came it a few more times from the bird, who seemed to completly ignore me, focusing now on the bearlike man, who has come to a stop standing between a few small trees which made him look even bigger.
"I see", was the first thing the man said, "you must be really angry".
Angry? Why would I be angry?
"Don't worry I will deal with this situation" came from him in a reassuring tone.
Was he... talking to the bird?
"Kraaahhhh", the bird now sounded like he was protesting.
What was going on? Could they understand each other? No that is impossible, isn't it?
"Here look, I got your eggs all safe and undamaged", came from the man who was still standing between the trees but was now holding the nest in his hands which I accidently knocked off the tree.
"Mindy!", he suddenly started to shout, "man, this girl always gets lost" were his next words although more or less mumbling to himself.
An "I a-am sorry sir" came from somewhere behind the man but in an much more gentle, feminine voice.
"You need to keep up with me if you want to be a great ranger" came from the man "Give me a hand over here, help this fearow to place its nest on one of those trees I will deal with this intruder."
"...you are a lot bigger and stronger then me then me..." mumbling the girl took the nest and went off

The bird, I think he called it "fearow", following the girl, which as I noticed was wearing a uniform similiar to the mans.
"Alright alright, what do we got here?"
I instantly turned around.
For a moment I forgot that the man was still here, he was now merely 2 meters away from me.
It seems these people seem to be some kind of parkrangers and if I am not completely mistaken this is a giant resort or park.
"Entering areas which are offlimit to visitors and disturbing the peace of the pokemon", he was clearly angry.
I am in trouble again that much I can tell but maybe I can get some informations on where I am and what these "pokemon" are...