CaptainSpectacular Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 TO WRITE A ROSE A rose is only but a flower So why is it given such credibility? It does not hold with it serenity and power So why do we strive To write a rose When we should write to be alive? Why do we seek the simple, the fleeting This is the point I keep repeating. Why do we strive for normality, When changing subjects in the middle of a poem is a much more interesting reality? Why must we rhyme? Is it just because We are told? Or is it because the art that we bring Is only the illusion to which we cling? Is it because we fear creativity? Is it because we cannot live outside of the proverbial box? Is it that we truly fear our most powerful gift? Must everyone disregard their humanity to float along, to drift? What, you might ask, what is it? Well, it was given to you and to me, so make better shit. Misfire33 1 Link to comment
Grampaaa Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Captain. Your poems are bootyfull. Link to comment
Misfire33 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I'm getting some serious writing envy here, man; you start writing good short stories too and Imma be super jelly. Reading it out loud, I noticed some awkwardness in the rhythm, which is probably a casualty of doing it up all fawn-cay to look like a rose. This part was pretty damn clever, though: "Why do we strive for normality, When changing subjects in the middle of a poem is a much more interesting reality? Why must we rhyme? Is it just because We are told?" I like how it sets up a rhyme, questions why it's doing so, and then ends on this little, anticlimactic "no." That's the kinda shit you see in texbooks next to pictures of oddly effeminate Italian men. Nice. The ending kinda ruins the whole fawn-cay aesthetic, but still, nice. [spoiler]P.S. have you thought about colouring the text to make it more obvious? That'd look pretty rad.[/spoiler] Link to comment
CaptainSpectacular Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Reading it out loud, I noticed some awkwardness in the rhythm, which is probably a casualty of doing it up all fawn-cay to look like a rose Yeah...that was definitely on purpose...totally meant to do that.... The reason some of the rhymes don't line up very well is because the poem is written (at least it was supposed to be) like a song with no chorus. The words speed up and slow down as the peom needs them to. Aaaaaaand, it's a poem about creativity (obviously). So naturally it's gonna be kind of strange :) Link to comment
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