[Story][Contest] A Semester in the Life of >IGN<: College Edition

[Quint]

Pls I dont get rejected by fat chicks (even with one eye they love me) you must still be dreaming. 

[Kiliminati]

Wub you Archi

[jayfeatskydd]

Story

10/10 would have ran pong tables @ parties

Edit: No contest

Edited April 29, 2015 by jayfeatskydd

[Kiliminati]

IGN: Kiliminati

 

I felt obligated to participate haha, kinda just wrote down random things that I thought of though. I hope you enjoy =)

 

Also, please don't take offense to anything I have wrote in here, it's all for fun (if I wrote about you I obviously like you :))

 

Edit: Lol, I don't understand the censor on some of these words. Don't worry Cody, it's not bad.

 

[spoiler]

          Alarm clock rings, completely shatters my dream about being an incredibly handsome Velociraptor chasing after a Struthiomimus.

          “SAKURA, TIME TO WAKE UP FOR COL-!“

          Oh shit. I forgot. I was back in the states now.

          You see, over the summer I had taken it upon myself to visit the land down under and meet up with a very peculiar friend. More like friends with benefits status? Something to that effect. Anyway, my friend’s name was Sakura. Yeah, just Sakura. No middle or last name. After finally arriving at her house, I spent my nights sleeping on the floor beside her bed. And guess what the best part about it all was? Her mom was A-OK with it!

          But enough about my summer vacation. At long last, it was time to officially attend college for the first time- to reimburse the school grind all over again- and I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout that niko shit yo. I’m talkin ‘bout some up at 8 am already cookin’ in the kitchen shit. Which didn’t sound too bad at all, to be quite honest. I was hungry as fuck. Too bad I slept in.

          I carefully weighed both of my available options- eat breakfast at Taco Bell and miss first period (while, coincidentally, missing my chance to hit on a girl named Ploegy, whom I heard was also in my class), or skip breakfast and get straight to the good stuff. Guess what I chose?

 

          Taco Bell was definitely worth it by the way. With that being said, I had to suffer the repercussions of my actions. As I walked in to Biology class late, this dumb uguu named Lyndon decided to be a snitch uguu.

          “HEY! KILI! YOU’RE LATE, HAW HAW HAW!” yelled Lyndon.

          “Shut up you light skin,” I replied in an extremely cool manner, because I’m so cool.

          Unfortunately, the deed had already been done. Rest in peace any chance of me sneaking into the classroom. As Lyndon continued to yell about absolutely nothing, my professor, NoadHunter, turned her attention towards none other than mwah.

          “YOUNG MAN,” exclaimed Noad with every ounce of authority she could muster, “YOU ARE LATE. WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER SHOWING UP?”

          “Mrs. NoadHunter,” I whispered faintly (yes, she was married to a young man named Darkshade), “I thought I would be able to apologize…” But it had no effect. Earthquake doesn’t work on Gengar apparently, even when its goddamn feet are touching THE MOTHA FUCKIN GROUND.

          “YOU ARE HEREBY BANISHED. GIT OUUUUUUUUUUT!” She screamed.

          I took that as my cue to leave. On the bright side, I did receive an “A+” in the class for the semester, however.

          Events like the one described above were typical of my first semester in college. I must say, it did make the entire experience a lot more interesting. As a young and aspiring student at Harvard, I needed SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to take my mind off of the gargantuan work load that the professors expected us to handle with ease. I mean, sure, I could do particle physics and logarithmic derivatives in my sleep. But trying to understand why certain kids think they’re cool when they aren’t… I just couldn’t constitute a correct postulation for an appropriate theorem. OK, so maybe that’s not exactly homework, but it’s still a mind-boggling topic of consideration, don’t you think?

          Unfortunately, not all of my first semester was a cherry cream pie with the most delicious crust you will ever taste in your life. Few things in this world bother me. But the ONE thing that never failed to upset me, the ONE thing that could ruin a perfect day every-single-time, was running into the LYLE gang.

          I’m telling you, that Bowser kid hits like a truck. And JJ? He lifts. Lifts Subaru Outbacks. Any kid, including me, that would cross the LYLE gang’s path hopefully had either been trained by Hussein Bolt, or developed some sort of instantaneous teleportation device. And if you didn’t fall under this criteria? You better say goodbye to your lunch money. All five dollars of it. No foot-long for you uguu.

          Although, as it happens, there is always some sort of uguu in every suit of armor. Cody just happened to be that one uguu in the LYLE gang’s chainmail. It’s OK though. I eventually let him go after Ploegy once I was done with her, sorta out of pity, but also out of the goodness of my own heart. I think they ended up marrying or something.

          All this talk about my enemies though!

          I had (and currently have) many, many good friends that I enjoy talking to and spending time with. And almost all of them I met at college! One of my best friends ever, Archinix, is a real qt3.14. He even carries a purse around at all times, no matter where he goes. That right there, ladies and gentleman, is how to be a man.

          Jayfeatskydd, my partner in crime for almost every school prank, was probably one of the best wingman I have ever known. While he did have slightly better hair, I beat him with that glorious jaw line. And let me tell you. Chicks would go crazy for us. Halfway through my first semester, Both Jay and I had to stop accepting numbers from girls altogether- there were just too many. A few Miss America candidates, some Harvard cheerleaders, professional models… nothing too special, but good regardless. We watched the money flow in.

          Then there was Zooka, the love of my life (just kidding, hi Shervinz). I may have had a tiny little crush on her during the first month of college, but that ended rather abruptly- completely unforeseen by my handsome self at the time, I’m not proud to say. It sort of went like this;

          Zooka was definitely the cream-of-the-crop status at Harvard as far as females go, and really only three people had a chance at her: myself, StriderXD (whom I will refer to as “TJ”), and Eggplant. At the beginning, everything was looking up for me; I had invited her to multiple dinners, movies, and even received a little special something one night, if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. Then TJ came. That uguu. Through the ancient Japanese art of white-knighting, TJ effectively stole Kazooka from right under my co---------- gnitive thought. I thought it was over, that TJ had won.

          Nope, HAHAHA

          This is where Eggplant shows up. One day I’m sitting at the local park with both TJ and Zooka themselves, secretly attempting to forge an unexcelled plot at gaining Zooka’s heart, when Eggplant shows up in a goddamn black limousine. IT EVEN HAD BUTTERFLY DOORS. Instead of turning off the limo and walking up to Zooka directly, being the slick rick that he was, Eggplant instead beckoned for a chauffeur of his to personally escort Zooka into the limousine.

          Well played, Egg.

          Well played.

          And that was the end of that.

 

          Looking back, I wouldn’t trade my first semester of college for anything. The experiences and friendships crafted over those six months were most certainly worth all of the work required to continue being enrolled. I will never forget that Taco Bell Nacho Bell Grande though. Not ever.

           

            (They don’t sell those for breakfast, do they? Fuck.)[/spoiler]

Edited May 2, 2015 by Kiliminati

[Ploegy]

Although, as it happens, there is always some sort of uguu in every suit of armor. Cody just happened to be that one uguu in the LYLE gang’s chainmail. It’s OK though. I eventually let him go after Ploegy once I was done with her, sorta out of pity, but also out of the goodness of my own heart. I think they ended up marrying or something.

I would never marry anyone from this game just for your information. Wouldn't even have a relationship with anyone here

[ThinkNice]

I would never marry anyone from this game just for your information. Wouldn't even have a relationship with anyone here

that's what many have said

 

[spoiler]including me[/spoiler]

[Kiliminati]

that's what many have said
 
[spoiler]including me[/spoiler]

She just needs to find the right guy is all

[spoiler]im right here plowgy[/spoiler]

[Ploegy]

She just needs to find the right guy is all

[spoiler]im right here plowgy[/spoiler]

You're too young. I don't date high school boys

[Undrdatree]

LF Results

[Archinix]

Noad &Musica busy, Rigas uh Riga

Ill try getting them to vote asap

[shervinz]

It's okay I can wait for my prize.

[KaynineXL]

Waiting patiently :D

[Archinix]

LF Noad

[ThinkNice]

LF Archi- hue wait

[Rigamorty]

The PM seems to be missing from my inbox, so I'm not sure if Noad ever gave judgement.

 

But both Musica and myself put DoubleJ in the first place spot.

 

Second place was between PinkWings and YagamiNoir. Musica gave it to Yagami, with PinkWings as an honorable mention, and I said vice versa.

 

Archinix is dead with the prize though, I just felt I should tell you guys so you'd at least know. 

[Munya]

The PM seems to be missing from my inbox, so I'm not sure if Noad ever gave judgement.

 

But both Musica and myself put DoubleJ in the first place spot.

 

Second place was between PinkWings and YagamiNoir. Musica gave it to Yagami, with PinkWings as an honorable mention, and I said vice versa.

 

Archinix is dead with the prize though, I just felt I should tell you guys so you'd at least know. 

hes dead with that 5x31 corphish i bread for another writing contest as well.

[shervinz]

I think it's safe to say I was gonna win. Anyone willing to donate me my rightful prize? I would appreciate it.